...say it anyway. I tend to speak my mind, in the worst way possible. My comments span from dumb jokes to cutting remarks and up until recently I've just shrugged and and decided to say it anyway.
I am a blunt person, perhaps to a fault. My bluntness often overrides my use of discretion and has led to plenty of hurt feelings and awkward silences. It seems like everyone was born with a make-sure-to-say-the-right-thing filter except for me. It is not unusual that, upon meeting someone new, I am assumed to be rude because I say things that others don’t dare to say and I make jokes that I realize I probably shouldn’t make after I’ve already made them.
I used to despise this part of myself. I tried to be a little more subdued, a little sweeter, a little quieter. I would have things to say but I wouldn’t say them because I just wanted to be normal. I was spending my time and energy attempting to be just like everybody else, which was exhausting because everyone is different. Nobody is “normal.” To try to become like every other person else means that you’re trying to be hundreds, thousands, millions of different people. It’s impossible. By not saying the things that I wanted to say, I was contributing nothing. I was agreeing with everything that everyone said which resulted in voicing no real opinion.
After months of staring off into space and smiling and nodding and only half-way paying attention to anything that anyone said, I decided to make a change. Life is meant to be lived together-we all have something to contribute. A major part of life is working together to discover what each of us has been created to do. It’s calling out the beauty and the good in each other, and rebuking the bad. It’s not about discovering flaws and hiding them before anyone can see. It’s not about pretending that the qualities that make you unique don’t exist because unique is beautiful and you are you for a reason.
I have this ability to get away with saying things that other people seem to be uncomfortable saying and for several years I misused it. I used this quality of mine to get away with hurting people. Throw some humor into a cutting remark and people don’t realize what exactly I just said. Lace an insult with a bit of compliment and people are left wondering why they feel offended. Some people call it funny or honest or a defense mechanism. I call it wrong.
Here’s the thing: I can still be funny or smart without being cutting or cruel. I don’t have to shut completely down. I have words to contribute. I came to a place in my life where I realized that if I am not speaking completely out of love, I should not be speaking at all. If I speak out of love, out of life, I’m good to go. It’s not about being accepted and appreciated. It’s not about impressing my friends or making the whole room laugh. It’s about building people up into everything that they have been created to be. Jesus spoke out of love 100% of the time. His heart was full of compassion and passion and so much love for each and every person who has ever lived and who will ever live. Where did Jesus end up at the end of His time on earth?
Jesus ended up being betrayed by one of his closest friends. Jesus ended up being mocked and hated.
Jesus ended up dead, on a cross.
Speaking out love doesn’t mean easy-living. It doesn’t mean people will automatically love you back and it sure doesn’t mean you’re going to like everyone you interact with. It does, however, mean that you’re doing the right thing. You aren’t kicking people down to build yourself up. You aren’t disregarding feelings in an attempt to boost your ego. You are speaking life into hearts that have been dead for too long. You are speaking love into lives that are lonely.
Don’t take the easy way out, guys. Don’t shut down because you don’t feel like you have anything to offer and don’t abuse the gifts that God has given you just to fit in. Be different. You have so much to offer.
And, before I end up sounding like a self-help booklet, is all that I have to say about that.
